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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 19.06.2025 10:22

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

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By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By taking turns talking.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

Jenny from Perth writes – my partner is the life of the party, women and men adore him. But at home, he gets angry at us for the silliest reasons and never nice words me or our kids, always putting us down. Should I stay or leave him?

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.